A lot has happened since I last blogged. But at the top of the list of things that impacted MY life would be this... My sweet little girl passed away. It's been really easy to put off blogging about this. I've been so sad and emotional. And as if to compound the pain in my broken heart we have deadly tornados here in Oklahoma, and then I have friends who have experienced tragedy. One friend has a daughter that was hurt in a car wreck, another friend whose son had an unexplained medical emergency and died. A boat load of teens also crashed and it killed two college-age kids right here on our lake. While those things do put my personal tragedy into perspective I've learned from friends not to let myself discount my own feelings. This baby was a part of my daily (and nightly) life for 9 years. She was a special puppy. I fought for her life, but in the end, she just couldn't take anymore.
I know she had an exceptional life and people have said some really sweet things to me that have given me a lot of comfort. I've been told that she got her tiny wings fitted in Heaven. And while I've been taught that pets do not go to Heaven because they don't have a soul, I have to admit that I like to think they do actually live an eternal life in Heaven for being sweet little innocent beings. And if that's true I know my dad greeted her with open arms. I can picture him squatting down to scoop her up. For my friends who knew my dad I know that made you smile picturing it too. Either it made you smile or you're crying right now. Which I promise wasn't my intent.
Meanwhile, back on Earth... I'm not sure what the proper time is for grieving. Will I ever stop?
Will there be a time that I think about her last moments and not cry like a baby? Will I forgive myself for leaving her at the ICU clinic instead of holding her in my arms and letting my vet ease her misery and suffering? Did she miss me and give up? I don't know. But I do know that having company in for Memorial Day weekend and having their puppy in the house proved to be an excellent band-aid for my broken heart and made me think that maybe it's time to find another pup.
So, as I write this I've found another baby dog. I know I could never replace Mazie. There will never be another dog like her. So the puppy that I chose is a different breed, different sex, different size, different everything. But it's going to come into our home and heal us. I say heal us because I think Coco needs help with her broken heart too. Even my sweet, strong husband needs some healing. He hasn't fallen apart like me but I know he loved her and this next dog is really for him.
Next time I blog you'll get to meet my little Nacho. :)
Life is good. (but it's too damned short)
Let's all try to cheer up and love life, ok?
I'm a wife and mom! That about sums me up! I am blessed to be married to my best friend for 28 years now. I have 2 great kids that are grown! My hobbies include: Cooking, photography, gardening, reading, painting, and pottery, and feathering my nest!
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